Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Bart: Dad, what’s a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it’s not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man… (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don’t know.
Homer: Here’s to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life’s problems
Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I’m an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can’t admit that you have a problem?
Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get
Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman
Homer: Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
Homer: Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman’s bottom? That’s right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman
og min personlige favoritt er: Homer: I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.